Tag Archives: sommer

Sommertime Vacay: Book List

Yay for summer vacations! I love sommer vacay  summer vacay. All of my parental responsibilities are on hold (for 2 months anyway), I can get away with eating ice cream for breakfast, and juicy bbq burgers never taste better than on a patio during warm, summer nights. In an effort to make the most out of my Sommertime Vacation, I plan on grabbing some great summer reads, curling up on the couch, and getting lost. The goal: (1) book per week for (8) weeks. Wish me luck!

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You cannot possibly get through life without a little O-wisdom. This summer, I invite O and her big brain full of isms into my space. Namaste.

 

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Classic author summertime reading nod goes to S. King. You can’t get through vacation or a dark, rainy night without showing some love to the King himself.

 

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When I saw Arianna Huffington on Super Soul Sunday, I sat up and listened. I have had Thrive on my book list for about a year now. No time like the present to get to reading!

 

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While a fan of her work, I am most interested in her actual story. It stirs something in my belly. This novel is set in my fave place–hopefully I can snag a few chapters under some palms this summer.

 

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When I read this in high school, I enjoyed it immensely. The Maury Show like drama but back when television was actually just a radio was exciting. A classic with some Maury drama? Yes please!

 

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Yes, he’s on my list twice. *blank stare* Listen…it’s Stephen King. What can I say? This is going to be a thrilling summer ride!

 

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This summer I am not only focusing on reading, but I am also focusing on writing too. I love to write and I love the connection between the gift of writing, the imagination, and every day reality. Perfect book written by the perfect author to give me some more perspective (and instruction) on writing and life.

 

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I have been chomping at the bit for years to read this book and this summer it will most likely be the first book I read. It is not often you find a book that stands the test of time and changes lives in the process. My nose is itching at just the thought of smelling those pages (yes…I am somewhat of a nerd…carry on).

 

BONUS BOOKS

I know I only said (8) books, but I could not leave these last two off of my list. These will most likely be my end of summer celebration books. Geeked!

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JK’s story inspires me every time I think of her name. She inspired me even more when she popped up on the scene as a male author. I like her thinking and her style. I couldn’t possibly let the Sommertime Vacation float away without a little JK Rolling inspiration.

 

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In case you hadn’t noticed, I am a sucker for new things and Oprah. This is the recent Oprah Book Club 2.0 selection and I figured what harm would it do to dive into a book from a new author sprinkled with a little O-love. Absolutely none 😉

~SM

Sommertime Vacation

Every year, usually about 2-3 weeks prior to my birthday, the Universe plops a big gigantic A-Ha on me and I am enlightened. Every. Single. Year. I have yet to get my A-Ha (mean face). Or, perhaps I have.

A couple of mornings ago, I was flipping through Facebook and felt completely over it. Sure, it is nice to see people’s updates and pictures and it is as equally as nice to share my own random thoughts and photos, but in all actuality….who gives a shit? I mean, realistically, how many people care I had Mommy’s mac & cheese or if you found a t-shirt 50% off? Who cares if you write a dissertation on your wife and how great she is or who really wants to see you and your phantom boyfriend holding hands at the movies. Quite honestly….do you care? I suppose the same could be said for BSM. I mean, who cares if I am struggling with running 3 miles or having a parent breakdown? Somehow, though, this seems different…it seems…helpful.

Anywho, I have the overwhelming need for balance. I feel the need to cut off everything that is a distraction and get back to the basics. And by basics I mean pen, pencil, notebook, board games, no clutter, GNO’s with just a great movie and the couch, books with actual bookmarks, the Bible and Beethoven. Oh…and Being Sadie May (of course).

It should be fun and exciting to actually take a summer break from all of the junk I allowed to slip in. Maybe I will actually be able to complete some things I have been desperately trying to get done. Maybe I can focus long enough to finish my novels. Or perhaps I can actually lose weight. I could possibly get back to centered. Maybe…just maybe…I can slide my way back to beautiful Me (smile). Sommertime Vacation just might be my best A-Ha yet. What fun this is going to be!

~SM

Forever Never The Dancer

In my head, I am a dancer. I breathe music. I have a playlist for just about everything. Shower? Do you want happy or sad? Cooking? Want get down or fancy-shmancy? Sex? Well….I’ll let you figure that one out. The point is, I love music and how it makes me feel….especially when it moves through my body.

Currently, on the last day of 2014, I am sitting at a wedding reception with some of the best reception music I have heard in forever. The bass is tingling my spine, my stomach has that loud music ache to it and the vibrations are tickling my feet through the floor…yet I stay seated in my chair. My body is pleading for me to get up and go but my brain is in severe protest.

I stay seated because I feel as though people will stare or make fun but really…who cares? Right? Dancing is a person’s way of self expression, of freedom…Right?

Perhaps I am far from free. Actually, that’s exactly how that sounds. I am a prisoner of my own stupid self. Today. While snooping through my grandma’s closet, I found a book about Buddhism with my grandfather’s scribblings in it. He asked himself (basically) why he allowed outside forces effect his inner being. I wonder that, too, Dad. Why do we allow ourselves to be prisoners? Good question. Perhaps I will figure it out sitting in another party chair watching everyone else party…maybe one day I will actually party too.

~SM

Mind Games

Remember the whole Heels & Lip Gloss thing? Yea, so, I have come to the conclusion it is all pretty much in my head. Silently, I am having this whirl wind love affair with a guy who probably thinks I’m nuts for giggling whenever he walks into the room. I mean, sure, his arms have man veins and his hands look all strong and junk and yes he’s tall and he definitely looks dashing in a uniform…but what else is there?

I know this dude not. He could be a complete asshole or a wimp or a dog, yet when he walks into the room or speaks to me (as if I am his school teacher, mind you) I can’t help but blush. Hell…I’m smiling right now! But it is indeed all in my head.

I am uncertain if he really knows of the attraction–I doubt it. When we do happen to share the same space there is tension in the air, not a negative tension–more like a shy kind of what-do-i-say tension. But perhaps that is all in my head too! Maybe when he is waiting for the microwave or looking in my direction he is thinking about how random I am or wondering why I laugh so loud or why I seem to find menial tasks to do in the kitchen. (Seriously–does it take 10 minutes to wash a fork?) Either way you slice it, it seems to be all in my head and that’s ok. A girl’s gotta have something to look forward to, right?

In all honesty, it is fun. It is an escape from the reality which is my life. For just a little while I get to be the object of someone’s pretend-all-in-my-head affections. As it stands now, if he did ask me out I would probably hold my breath until I turned blue. What would I do? What could I say? How would I handle it? In my head he overhears me talking about taking in a Braves game and asks me if I would like to go this weekend. Of course I answer with a surprising sexy cool laced with “this is purely platonic” answer. In my head we never seem to talk on the phone or go out on an actual date but he does ask. In reality, when we are sharing space I never say a word. I fumble and speak quickly. So, just imagine if he actually flirted with me for real and did, indeed, ask me out on a date. (Do people do that anymore or is it just penis pics and phone sex?)

Silly, I know, but it’s keeping my silly self entertained. It keeps me giggling and smiling and imagining something better. It keeps me in heels and preparing what to wear the night before (as opposed to 15 minutes before having to leave for work). I have found the joy in pencil eyeliner and playing with eye shadow again. No, a man, imaginary attraction or not, should have no bearing on how good I feel about myself (which it doesn’t really…I am pretty kick ass if I do say so myself. Let’s all clap for growth), but it makes finding the new me a little more fun. Who can argue with fun?

~SM

Successfully Being Sadie

I have been a lot of things in my life, but being Sadie full time hasn’t really ever been one of them. I have seen glimpses of her from time to time but totally lived in her space–never. After my marriage ended and I found myself on my own with two teenagers to raise and I wasn’t quite sure which end was up. I had no idea who I was, where I was going, or how to even get to the core of either one of those major life issues. And then…

Growing up in school, you called your classmates by random nicknames. Some are peer-inflicted while others are old family names (i.e. Peanut, Pookie, Girly, Lil Mike Mike and so on). Usually, on the first day of school, the teacher would ask if you wanted to be called [insert your government name here] or [insert nickname here]. Some kids had shorter versions of their names they preferred like Will or Maddie, but there were those lucky ones who chose to display their nickname like a shiny new toy. I hated not having a nickname. I wanted to be one of the lucky ones. It never occurred to me until searching for myself, that I wasn’t just one of the lucky ones–I was pretty damned special.

My father called me one thing (which technically is still my nickname–grown up with children and all) and that felt like a nickname but it wasn’t something I wanted to put on display. Not that there is anything wrong with it, but years later when the movie “Babe” came out about a fat cheery pig I thought it best to save myself the onslaught of inevitable jokes. Besides, your English teacher calling you “Babe” would sound way more odd than Lil Mike Mike or Pookie. So, I kept it to myself. My mother called me something entirely different from my dad and it always seemed like just another part of me–sort of like a leg or an arm. It’s there, you know it, see it, use it and move on with your day. It wasn’t until I had been faced with an enormous question (who am I…really) that I found the gift in something as simple as a nickname.

When searching for yourself, especially after a marriage has dissolved, it feels somewhat like groping around in the dark. You know there is a light switch somewhere, but you just can’t seem to find it. You are there somewhere, but it just seems too dark to tell your hand from your face–your role(s) from your core self. I thought about the people who loved me, I mean really loved me without abandon, and being a mother, I understood the value and the depth of a mother’s love. When I reflected on how my mother loved me, I found the light switch.

My mother heard a song that help her to articulate her depth of love for me in just two simple words day in and day out. Sweet Sadie, performed by the Spinners, was the essence of love without abandon–only it was a declaration of love from a son to his mother. When my mother heard the song for the first time, she felt the love in the music, beyond the words and immediately connected her love for me. From that moment on I have been Sadie May (uh, don’t ask where the May comes from–I’m not quite sure she knows either).

When I asked the question ‘who am I really’, the only thing that popped up and carried peace and light was ‘Sadie May’. My mother (much like most moms) sees a goodness, an honorable quality, a worthiness no one (other than God) can appreciate and she loves it all, good and bad (I am a Gemini afterall), deeply–beyond measure. The more I reflected on her love for me, the more I realized I am good. I am light. I am worthy. The nickname I had become numb to hearing, the nickname I had never really bothered to share because it didn’t seem anything other than just another name, the nickname that was an open, simple expression of love suddenly seemed to mean more than life itself. It is the space in which I am creating my new life. It is the space in which I am comfortable in my value. I am happily, excitedly, lovingly creating living, breathing space in being Sadie May.

~SM