Young Gun and I were having a conversation about Life. We converse about Life often, but something he said snapped in my brain. “I just want to enjoy life. Just live it to the fullest…” I have heard that statement a million times, but I never actually asked myself what it really meant. What the heck does it mean anyway???
Emily’s grandmother passed away in her 90’s. I suck with death, especially when the deceased are old. I was sad because she was sad, but I could not quite understand the sadness totally. I sucked with my Granddad’s death. I was not really moved by it–simply because he was old. He had seen his children young, then old. He had seen his grandchildren young, then old. He had seen wars and riots. He had experienced Martin Luther King, Jr. and President Obama. He had even been allowed to see his great grandchildren young and sorta old. At Old, he had seen a lot, but had he lived a lot? When Emily’s grandma passed I wondered that about her too. What had she seen, where had she gone and if she had actually lived.
Does living your life to the fullest mean sky diving and tattooing and partying? Does it mean loving and leaving? Does it mean parenting and grand parenting? Is there some sort of measurement for life-empty, life-half full, life-full? If so….what? Is it safe to say that if you make it to 90-something you’ve lived? And who is the document-er of such things?
I want to see the world. Perhaps not all of it, but most of it. I want to pet a dolphin and snorkel. I want to hang glide and eat an Ostrich egg. I want to feel God in everything and meditate without actually falling asleep. I want to walk into a room and own it and I want to see the kids do great things….just to name a few. If I accomplish those things, will I then be closer to living a full life? Is living a full life based on a person’s beliefs and ideals? Where is the man/woman one can point to and say “He/She is living their life fully!”?
I did not bother to ask Young Gun what he meant. I am not sure it is something that can be put into words. What I do know is that I want to try it–whatever that is. I think I need to. We all need to. Right?