Tag Archives: God

Eating Crow Behind Home Plate

All summer long I had been hoping, wishing, and praying to go to a Braves game. Not only am I a fan but I sorta missed the whole baseball thing once the season ended for Kid #1. All summer I have been checking and re-checking my budget to see if I could afford to go to a game. All summer I have been watching from the outside looking in, and as the summer began to come to a close, bitterness moved in.

Saturday night, The He told me he was taking the kids to a Monday night Braves game.  Logically, I was thinking it was awesome for the kids to have such a good dad. He took the time to think of them and he was using his resources to provide them with dad qt and an experience. But…I am not always logical.

A long time ago, I realized what you put into the Universe generally comes to pass. It doesn’t always come when you want it, but it comes. I have also learned the importance of faith. Faith, God and the Universe is a big discussion that deserves more space and time, but the gist of it is that I respect the magnificent mix of it all. I respect it, I communicate with it, I lock into it and when I don’t life is so off balance.

The He picked up the children Monday night and while I stood in the kitchen washing dishes. That’s when the call came “I have 4 tickets instead of 3. I thought I only had 3. Would you like to come with us?”

It is often said that when God blesses you, He often does it better than you could have done for yourself and it can even come from people you least expected. When I hit the entrance to the stadium I felt like a kid who had gotten punished by not getting punished but by getting an extraordinary treat instead. I was humbled and I felt ashamed for being such a brat.

The tickets were way better than I would have purchased on my own. We ate for free, had an amazing table/terrace view during dinner, and we sat right behind home plate the people in the VIP seats, Evander Holyfield.  I’m still picking feathers out of my teeth but it’s ok–it is a reminder of the lesson I learned that night. I can want what I want when I want it, but my timing isn’t always what is best. I am exactly where I am suppose to be–no more, no less.

~SM 

I Choose Favor

A colleague of mine sent me a text one day and said while she enjoyed the FB posts, she felt as if I was riding too heavily on the “I don’t have” train. She told me I should speak positively and expect all that God is readily presenting me with. The next day, she posted an inspirational word from Joel Osteen about…well…what else? God’s favor. For a week after that I was inundated with the numbers 11, 111, and 1111. When I woke up at 1:11 am I decided I had had enough. What gives?! After some careful research, people who believe in Angel Numbers, feel as though it is (if I may paraphrase terribly here) the Universe taking a snapshot of your thoughts and bringing what you are thinking/wanting to pass–and quickly. It doesn’t take long for me to get it (except in this case…it took me like a whole week). I choose favor.

So how exactly does one choose favor? My guess is that you just do. You wake up with the spirit of expectation and you have the faith to live in it even if nothing comes from it. God is all around us. For those of us who are more enlightened than others (think Tolle and Zuchav), our spirits are already open books. For those of us who are a little less enlightened than others (yea…you can think of me in this case), the world (or devil–whichever you prefer) has a good old time shutting us down and making us cry in the corner of the shower (or is that just me). And while I do believe life is about more than the black and white of things, in this case there is no gray. You either live in His world or you don’t.

For the past few weeks, I think I have been choosing the latter–subconsciously that is. I mean really–who consciously chooses to live in a fog of ‘can’t won’t shouldn’t wouldn’t couldn’t don’t’? I think what happened to me was the waiting out the ready–the transcendence of flesh. We have discussed this before–my mind and my spirit are 10 light years away while my circumstances and flesh are still struggling to catch up. It is hard to believe in positivity, divine expectation and favor when you struggle with something you can feel deep down inside but not touch. Quite honestly, it is hard to believe in much of anything except plain old black and white when you have a quarter of a tank to last you 7 days and $5 in your pocket for the next two weeks. It is harsh to be in a constant fight for your life when you are being attacked and misread and misused by those you thought were suppose to love you.

An old friend of mine told me recently I was a lot stronger than I gave myself credit for. I think about that often. I suppose that is why when the colleague encouraged me and my angels decided to tap on my shoulder at 1:11 am, I chose to fight. I am a fighter, after all. It is what I seem to have done always.

I won’t promise to always be the most positive chica in the bunch nor do I promise to make it to enlightened status.  But what I can definitely say is when things stop working or when I can’t pay rent or when all I can do is imagine the more, I will choose favor and just hand it over to God and let Him work it out. He always does…I should no longer be surprised.

~SM

I AM AWESOME!

A friend sent this video to me this week and boy was it necessary. We get so hung up on the movement of Life that we forget the power we harness just by being a woman. Powerful message.

~SM

Today I AM: Retreating

Today I AM retreating. In this day and age it is essential with information coming at us 24/7. I get overwhelmed with the constant updates on other people’s lives and my focus is lost. This balancing act is a tough one when there is no focus. So, today, I am making the conscious decision to put up fences and give myself some breathing room….to purge the outside junk that found its way in. I will focus on silence and meditation. I will focus on what goes in and what goes out. I will be move in silence and absorb nature. I will walk, breath, move, speak, and pray with intention. Today I will reset, refocus, revive.

~SM

Today I AM: Faithful In Prayer

Today I AM faithful in prayer.  I had learned over the years that when one prays, they are to first be thankful…second be intentional…and third be faithful. As I have been reawakened by various life circumstances, the slight prayer education I received has played a major role in how I am able to still stand. The thankful part is simple and the intentional part is pretty easy too. It is that faithful part that messes up the whole thing.  But I am learning quickly that the faithful part is just as important as the prayer itself. When you step to God with gratitude, purpose and intention, walk away knowing that it is already done. Expect the change. Expect the favor. Expect the answer you so boldly sought. It might not come when you want it or how you want it but it will always come when you need it.