Tag Archives: food

The Year Two Thousand & Eighteen Notables

“Think through each month, and make a list of all the notable moments, the treasures of 2018.”  (Grit & Virtue)

 

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January – We got to see the baby! For an entire month, I was a nervous wreck! Every ache or pain I felt, I just knew it spelled trouble. We knew there was a little life growing inside but we had no idea if it was okay or if it would stick. In January, we got to have our first glimpse of the newest addition. What a beautiful, amazing sight!

February – I got to meet all of Young Gun’s family and I got to witness how one long, loving life could affect so many people. The unfortunate part was that I was unable to meet the man behind the long, loving life, but the number of people he touched was absolutely unbelievable.

March – We found out the baby was a girl. My husband wanted a little girl and God saw to it. Although, I still believe when my mother-in-law got to heaven that week, her first order of business was to put in a good word and God obliged. March was also when for a brief, sparkling moment, my beautiful friend and I put away everything heart-heavy and became husband and wife.

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April – The Boy’s baseball career started to buzz! He was in the paper, his pitching was amazing and colleges were peeking in to see what he had to offer. It was a blessing to see something blossom right before our eyes. He has been dreaming of playing baseball since before he could read well, and to see it growing before him was amazing.

May – Mommy and I chucked the deuce to an item on our bucket list…JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE!!! We had amazeball seats and the show was a-mazing! We had been waiting years (yes, years) to see him in concert and we finally made it. I still owe her money for my ticket, but the debt is soooo worth it.

June – BABY SHOWER! Oh my goodness what a wonderful, beautiful showing of love. Friends, old and new, the family from out of state, Mommy, the kids, and even The Ex and his person were there. Cookie received so, so much that we barely had room enough to receive it all.

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July – The Mother/Daughter Team was back at it in Atlanta, but this time it was Sam Smith. What a surprisingly wonderful show! We had such a great time. Me and my 8-month pregnant waddling self hung in there. Cookie had a great time too!

August – Both of my girls had birthdays. Earlier in the month, we welcomed Cookie into the world and two weeks later we celebrated a beautiful young lady and her Sweet 16. School started too and we had a Class of 2019 man in the house and a fresh Junior (Class of 2020). What a year of extremes…

September – Young Gun and I went on our first date post-baby and we chose to celebrate with a Childish Gambino concert. I surprised him with floor seats. He was so stoked. We almost got within touching distance of Gambino, but security blocked us (booo). It was an amazing show. To top it all off, big Bro and Sis got some baby watching action in.

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October – Me and my girls went out for brunch one morning. The Girl and I were awake and Cookie woke up too and I just said: “Let’s go to brunch.” We left the boys snoring in the bed and had a wonderful mid-morning. I didn’t have a ton of cash, but the little I had, we used on yummy pancakes, waffles, hot chocolate, and tea. Time (and money) well spent.

November – Cookie went to daycare for the first time. At first, it was bitter, but seeing her progress in such a short time helped to turn the bitter sweet. Seeing just how well cared for she is and the fun she has is wonderful. And (as much as I complained about it), it was actually nice to get back to a semblance of a routine.

December – I found my voice (and breath)…again *swoon*

~SM

A Lesson Never Learned (sigh)

I suck. A negative comment, yes, but bare with me here. While I do have many great qualities, I also have some pretty sucky flaws. The problem with actually acknowledging the great and the sucky is that I am painfully well aware of each. *sigh* Especially when I am wallowing in the sucky–train meet wreck, wreck meet helpless onlooker.

For the past few days I have noticed a behavioral pattern that can only be attributed to the closing. You say you are fine. People ask you are you better. You say you are happy because, well, you pretty much are, but then something comes along–sneaks in the back door–and knocks you to your knees. You saw it coming (the train). You knew it was coming and you thought you were okay until (the wreck)….

I attempted to cover bases with buying salad stuff, fruit and veggies. I tried to react in a responsible manner. I really, really did. I made my lunch and snacks the night before. I made my cucumber/lemon/mint water and chugged it down obediently. I ran (3) miles one day and biked (5) the next. I made room for the responsible. But then….I found myself eating Froot Loops at 11pm. I suddenly had to have a Reeses pumpkin. Dunkin Donuts was a great idea. That old love/hate relationship came slip-sliding back in, gripping me by the throat. Food is not my friend.

This morning I managed to scarf down a pumpkin doughnut, a glazed doughnut, and a Boston creme with a side of creamer laced coffee. *sigh* I knew what I was doing when I pulled through the drive-thru. I knew what I was doing when I sat down at my desk and politely laid out a napkin. I knew what I was doing, yet….I didn’t stop (the helpless onlooker). When I was finished eating, I raced to the bathroom to brush my teeth–I guess the oral equivalent to taking a shower after a shameful sexual encounter. My knees went weak and I literally knelt in front of the sink, guilt/shame weighing me down. I suck.

Perhaps those words are a little too harsh. I am human, after all. I do have feelings (to the surprise of others). I won’t melt when water hits (I’m melllltiiiiing). I just have a problem with fighting the irresponsible emotional side of self. Blame it on the Gemini I guess. One twin, usually the weaker one, wins in situations like this. Perhaps the stronger twin is just tired of fighting. I can imagine her throwing up her hands, saying eff it and walking away. The weaker twin feels like she won, but really all she did was create another problem. I guess I don’t suck. It’s the weak twin who sucks. When the course on emotional dealings was taught, she missed the class entirely…she was probably in line at McDonald’s. *sigh*

~SM