Tag Archives: dating

Girl Meets Boy: Introducing Mr. Young Gun

Single life has had its moments, both good and bad. The bad we won’t get into today, but the good has been pretty entertaining….especially recently.

A guy seemed genuinely interested in yours truly. I saw him regularly and eventually we sparked short, flirty conversation. When asking about a friend of mine I was setting up on a blind date and where said blind date should take place, he made a joke about me asking him out. So….I did.

Asking him out on a date and asking Cutie #1 out was completely different. With Young Guns it was easier…probably because he laughed and joked with me almost everyday. There was no mystery with him. I could tell he was kinda digging on me.

He’s fun, funny, sweet, hard working, artsy, a writer, a Walking Dead lover, & Spider-Man/Super Man/Fast & Furious enjoyer. He’s adventurous, active and a great caretaker. So…..what’s my issue? He’s a decade and a year younger than me. *shock n awe*

Talking to him is refreshing, mostly because he makes me laugh, but moments during our conversations make me cringe–just a little. When he mentioned something about being 6, I instantly realized the separation in age. His 6th year of life was the beginning of my senior year in high school. His 10th year of life was the beginning of my parental/marital life. Need I say more?

They say age is nothing but a number and in most situations that is true. I suppose this one is no different. It isn’t like I am looking to marry him, but do I want to sorta-date a guy that could potentially be my son….if I was having sex at 11? Yea, that is a tad dramatic, but it has entered my mind a few times. I am trying to live my life without making plans, and this falls right in line with that. Mr. Young Gun is my fun for now. The only plan I have for us (ugh…us is such a together word–which we are not nor do I want to be) is to just roll. Drinks? Sure! Rock Climbing? Let’s get it! Dinner? Movies? Music festivals? Check, check, and check. Why not….right? This should be fun.

~SM

Mind Games Pt. II

Eh-hem. Ladies and gents, I am sorta embarrassed to announce that yes…..it was indeed all in my head. *sigh*

As it turns out (or at least I am taking a giant leap in assuming), the hot, steamy love affair with Cutie #1 was all in my head. I mean, ok, we already established that 85% of it was in the squishy bits between the ears, but the other 15% was full of possibility. Yea, so I think the possibility percentage is now a big fat 0.

No, I never did actually talk to him and yes, this whole thing is a little weird, but I have decided to cut my losses anyway. Listen, at the rate of sounding like a complete narcissist, I am actually pretty amazing. I have issues, I do, but overall I am pretty much the shit. Yea. It’s true. I cannot possibly keep running around having torrid love affairs in my head with a guy who barely speaks–I am so much better than that.

Thankfully, this little mind game session has taught me a very valuable lesson. You don’t have to put up with anything you don’t want. Period. Well, that and you will know when someone is interested in you. They leave little clues like, oh I dunno, saying ‘hi’ and actually having a flirty conversation.

It is unfortunate I have to break up with him though. We never even got to first base. Oh well…I hope he doesn’t take it too bad 😛

~SM

Oscar The Grouch

Ok, so some days call for miniature pity parties–especially when hormones, a reoccurring injury, and a wedding invitation are afoot. It happens. No one is perfect.

As I commence to having a 10 minute pity party, I asked a friend of mine why no one is even tempting to look in my direction (correction: there was an old barber guy who called me baby once). After a few moments of silence, she responded with the dreaded 4 words no one likes to hear: Can I be honest? Uh-oh.

She said, “You don’t give off….’hit on me’. You give off ‘don’t you say one word to me or I’m going to cut you’.” Apparently, the energy I give off (in waves obviously) is that the human race is a bother to me and it disrupts my space. If this is the case, it means I am putting up walls and armoring up to shut people out. The fact I can recognize the train wreck before it happens is a sign of growth–but, err, how does one correct it?

Have you ever had a mental out of body experience? Things are happening, you see them happening in slow motion, but you have no idea how to stop them there things? Well, the walls are being constructed and the armor is being slipped on and I feel incapable of stopping any of it. What to do? What to do?

Yesterday, I ended the 10 minute pity party with an apple & dark chocolate. I knew not what to do. I suppose I will just try to consciously not be so Oscar the Grouch like and more reformed Grinch (you know when his heart grew 3 sizes that day). It may take a few glasses of wine, but I can make it happen 😛

~SM

Mind Games

Remember the whole Heels & Lip Gloss thing? Yea, so, I have come to the conclusion it is all pretty much in my head. Silently, I am having this whirl wind love affair with a guy who probably thinks I’m nuts for giggling whenever he walks into the room. I mean, sure, his arms have man veins and his hands look all strong and junk and yes he’s tall and he definitely looks dashing in a uniform…but what else is there?

I know this dude not. He could be a complete asshole or a wimp or a dog, yet when he walks into the room or speaks to me (as if I am his school teacher, mind you) I can’t help but blush. Hell…I’m smiling right now! But it is indeed all in my head.

I am uncertain if he really knows of the attraction–I doubt it. When we do happen to share the same space there is tension in the air, not a negative tension–more like a shy kind of what-do-i-say tension. But perhaps that is all in my head too! Maybe when he is waiting for the microwave or looking in my direction he is thinking about how random I am or wondering why I laugh so loud or why I seem to find menial tasks to do in the kitchen. (Seriously–does it take 10 minutes to wash a fork?) Either way you slice it, it seems to be all in my head and that’s ok. A girl’s gotta have something to look forward to, right?

In all honesty, it is fun. It is an escape from the reality which is my life. For just a little while I get to be the object of someone’s pretend-all-in-my-head affections. As it stands now, if he did ask me out I would probably hold my breath until I turned blue. What would I do? What could I say? How would I handle it? In my head he overhears me talking about taking in a Braves game and asks me if I would like to go this weekend. Of course I answer with a surprising sexy cool laced with “this is purely platonic” answer. In my head we never seem to talk on the phone or go out on an actual date but he does ask. In reality, when we are sharing space I never say a word. I fumble and speak quickly. So, just imagine if he actually flirted with me for real and did, indeed, ask me out on a date. (Do people do that anymore or is it just penis pics and phone sex?)

Silly, I know, but it’s keeping my silly self entertained. It keeps me giggling and smiling and imagining something better. It keeps me in heels and preparing what to wear the night before (as opposed to 15 minutes before having to leave for work). I have found the joy in pencil eyeliner and playing with eye shadow again. No, a man, imaginary attraction or not, should have no bearing on how good I feel about myself (which it doesn’t really…I am pretty kick ass if I do say so myself. Let’s all clap for growth), but it makes finding the new me a little more fun. Who can argue with fun?

~SM

Heels & Lip Gloss

One of the things that makes me unique (as far as I can tell anyway) is that for being a woman–a lotta woman–I am not very girly at all. Sure, I have moments of lets-get-pretty, but for the most part, I would enjoy my time on Earth a lot better if it could be spent in tight jeans, sneeks, and a baseball cap daily. I prefer Fast & Furious over chick-flicks, naked toenails over pedicures, and loud smokey sports bars over romantic candlelit dinners. This is not to say I am the only woman on Earth like this, but when most guys find out I am…they are often shocked. Go figure.

Overall, I am feeling rather good about myself these days (except for the weight thing–what a monster bitch that is) and I am finding the good in attracting the opposite sex again. After The Split, I really had no desire to be looked at, attracted to, or talked to by anyone with private parts that swing. But, now that things have settled down and single life is growing on me, I am ready to play.

Enter in Cute Guy #1. I see him regularly and often I am quite confused as to whether or not he’s crushing slightly or not at all. Sometimes he speaks and sometimes he doesn’t. Sometimes I will catch him looking in my direction and sometimes he won’t even look at me. Sometimes I get a flirty “hello” (to which I answer with a nerdy wave *sigh*), while other times I get a business like nod.  This week, as an experiment, I decided to put on some lip gloss and heels (5″ btw) just to see if the energy changed. The outcome: me feeling desperate and him still being weird.  Epic….fail…well, maybe not…the crackhead who cuts my grass said I was a very pretty lady sooooo….I’ll take that.

Perhaps it feels as though I am grasping at straws because I would prefer to be in flip flops and a night gown. Or perhaps the straw grasp feeling is all in my head and I actually look like a normal office working woman. Either way you slice it, tomorrow I am dropping the lip gloss and heels and wearing slacks and flip flops letting my naked toenails see the world.

~SM

Knock Knock. Who’s There?

Currently? Nobody. Majority of the time that is ok. I don’t mind forgetting the fact that I am a young, interesting, deep woman with the inherent need to smell a little Brut every once and a while. I often keep myself moving so I rarely have to deal with single life. It is sorta weird, though, after being for someone for almost 20 years (16 to be exact)…it kinda feels like I am operating without one limb or another. Please, do not get me wrong, I am happy without the one limb. It would just be nice to actually be the subject of someone’s attentions (who aren’t related to me or who don’t have fur and tails).

Considering I really am not interested in the whole ‘long term relationship’ thing at this point, I would imagine I am a guy’s perfect type of girl. I am smart. I have values. I shave my legs. I have no fake body parts. I am neat (85% of the time). I am funny (smart ass witty is more like it). I enjoy a magnificent day at the ball park, as well as a cold beer, pizza, and a great football game.  I love to be active–a little on the slow side but activity is activity. I am adventurous. I am not a reality t.v. wanna be–pretending to have this or that, live like this or that, or know him or her. I read…I can read…big words, too. I am creative. I am a pretty awesome mother. I was an exceptional wife–the ex just didn’t know what the hell he was walking out on. I am all of these things and I have no desire to complicate my world with titles, sex, or emotions. So where are all of the guys who want that too?

Wherever they are, they certainly aren’t knocking on my door. With the kids gone for the summer and a pt work schedule, I find myself sitting on the couch eating Greek yogurt out of the container like ice cream in my pj’s and sweatpants listening to R&B. Lonely? Nah, not hardly. It is quite peaceful to only be responsible for myself, however when I go to the movies this afternoon or wander around the bookstore this weekend or relax at the park in the evening, it would be nice to have a male companion.

My friend says I have a look on my face that says “I’m thinking. Go away”, which, to her credit, is very true.  Yes…even the ‘go away’ part. I suppose at the bottom of one of those Greek yogurt containers I will find the remedy to that particular dilemma. But in the meantime, I will just keep enjoying the peace and waiting for the answer to the ‘Knock. Knock.’ call. When he answers….I hope he’s cute (lol).

~SM

Waiting Out The Ready

A close friend of mine who had been having relationship problems as of late asked what I thought of God possibly keeping the right one out of his life. “Let’s just say God put the wrong person in your life for a reason–whatever that reason may be–does that mean He could also keep the right person out of your life for a reason?”  It didn’t really take me too long to answer. It is a no brainer. The answer is a huge, gigantic resounding yes.

Let me ask you something. Would you give a five year old your car keys? Hand her your paycheck? Your answer to all of those would most likely be no, but why not?  Possibly because if you gave her your car keys she would crash in a nano second.  If she had control of your money–you just handed her $1500 cold hard cash–she would probably ball out in the caf at lunch time geeking up all her little kindergarten friends on sugar, thus ruining your budget.  Now it isn’t that she is stuck on stupid.  It is that at this five year old, Sponge Bob loving moment she doesn’t have the brain capacity, the understanding, and the motor skills to handle any of the major stuff.  $0.50 for ice cream at school, ok…she’s got that. Putting her plate in the sink after dinner, ok…she’s making it happen. Those are within her scope of understanding and you move within that. God is no different.

God would never hand us the car keys if we were not ready.  He moves within our scope of understanding. Sure, there are moments when we are being stretched and pushed, but that is only to garner growth.  From growth comes wisdom. From wisdom comes new heights. From new heights comes tons of other cool stuff like–oh, I dunno…the one.

Life’s business is never finished until we check out. Love, however, does not have to be unfinished–and in fact it never quite is finished.  In order to receive the type of love that comes with the ‘right one’, certain things must be in place before we get the full, unbridled experience (IMO). When we are unprepared, we do not have the wisdom enough to see, nurture, and accept the best love He has set aside for us.  We can easily look over it, down play it or even destroy it. It isn’t that we are bad or that we don’t deserve love, it is just simply that there is the very real possibility we don’t have the motor skills or the capacity to handle our best partner.

I advised my friend that he should focus on just living life and filling in all of the blank spaces with color and wait out his ready. When we make the move to live truth, enjoy the journey, and embrace what comes from doing both we find ourselves bumping into the ‘right one’ and we are able to handle everything that comes along with it.

~SM