Category Archives: Divine Connection

A [Voice] Is A [Voice]…No Matter How Small

“What promises has God revived in your heart to trust him for and believe again? What has He whispered to your heart?” (Grit & Virtue)

I have been trying to answer this question for a week now and nothing has jumped out. Thankfully, the fog I have lived in recently is lifting, but it still hasn’t cleared completely. Perhaps once it does, I can hear. But with the little peace and sunshine parting the icky weather, I can hear something. A [voice] is a [voice]….no matter how small (smile).

Horton, one of the world’s largest creatures, is a gentle giant who happens to hear the smallest voice. The voice was so small and so quiet, hardly no one could hear it. But, here came along a large, loud being open enough to hear what others would not…could not. Despite ridicule and some bumps, he listened to the voice and vowed to help whoever was behind it. He listened. He allowed himself to believe it, and his heart was big enough, open enough to receive it.

Taking a lesson from Horton, I am listening to the little Who in my soul. I cannot speak to the promises God has revived in my heart. I can’t hear that at the moment. If I turn everything off, close my eyes and tune in I can hear ‘peace’. Amongst the static in my ears, just under the current of thoughts, I can hear peace.

Perhaps that is all I am meant to hear at the moment.  God knows I have had enough to listen to this year. Maybe to absorb the goodness of the small voice, He’s giving it in tiny baby doses. Just a small voice, willing to be heard amongst the big, loud world.

With peace comes so much for me. It is pregnant with endless possibilities. With peace, I gain vision, voice, confidence, love, and courage (to name a few). From peace, the birth of a better, tamer, wiser me is inevitable.

I definitely will not complain about not knowing or hearing it all right now. Instead, I will hold the little speck of peace and carry it with me keeping it safe. When the time is right, the voice will be heard loud and clear.

~SM

Finding Him In Reflection

My sister-in-love forwarded an email that gave me pause. The email was from a journal company (my weakness, besides planners) speaking on reflection of 2018 and moving forward toward 2019. I typically stay away from all of the new year’s resolution hubbub because it does not seem genuine (IMHO). If change is what a person is really after, they will tackle it any time. Why wait for January 1? Due to how 2018 started off and ended, I plan on being a ginormous hypocrite and being a part of the hubbub. And I think I will start with the email.

I am far from a heathen, but I must admit, God and I have been distant lately. My fault entirely. I allowed a lot of the important parts of my wellness to get swallowed up by other things happening around me, and my relationship with Him was one. When all else fails in my life, faith is the one constant saving me every time. Today, it has faltered and I have no doubt it is because I moved farther away from the source. When I read the email, it painfully reminded me of how far I have wandered. But, thank God for His mercy and grace. Even if I have wandered far from Home, He continues to keep the light on…just for me.

In order to find my way back Home, I have got to stop going in the other direction. I can’t front and say I haven’t been hiding. More and more I have been cutting my circle closer and closer, allowing it to dwindle down to nothing. I have been ducking my head and being passive because parts of me preferred not to even deal. But if I am going to take this upcoming journey and if I am going to get better, I have to turn around and open my eyes. Nothing is ever as scary as the thought of something. The real thing might be hard and a little intimidating, but it is the thought of it being something more than it is that creates hysteria. Instead of playing the scary-thought loop in my head, I need to uncover my eyes, about-face and stare it down.

For the next nine days, I will take a look back at these past twelve months and reflect on the wins. The bad stuff is easy to point out, but there was good. There was great. The first order of business in shrinking the scary is measuring it up against the good. God is in it all, but for me, it is easier to see Him and understand Him in the good. So, I will be intentional when I look back and reflect. I will seek understanding. I will seek goodness and light. I will search for Him in it all.

I can’t say I will be a completely different person when I reach the other side, but I can say that I will be on my way. There is no magic pill to finding your way. There are no ruby slippers to click or fantasy tornadoes whirling about to carry me Home. There is only courage and dirty work, and, if I have nothing else, I know I have the courage to put in the dirty work.

~SM

A Love Letter To Friends

God blessed me with Divine Connections. They are the connections with people that bring out not just the best in you, but the God in you. Before you do things, you think about them or what they might say or do. Before you go to bed at night, you take the time to pray for them because you know they have done (or still do) the same for you. Divine connections are not relationships where you must talk day in and day out. They are relationships where that is accepted but so is the emergency “get me outta here” call on a Friday night. This is my love letter to them.

Dear Friends,

I have disappeared…fallen back…taken a break from everyday interactions.  I see you. I see your good stuff and I pray it continues. In the time you were placed in my life, it was what saved me. The ‘just checking in calls’ or the GNO inclusions allowed me to step away from the beating of my head against the wall. It helped me to hurt out loud and know it was okay. You allowed me a glimpse into your lives when you didn’t have to. That is a caring and a kindness and a love I am grateful to have received, and I can only hope to give it back to you in return.

I stepped away for a bit, but my heart remained in place (I hope you don’t think me too rude).  I root for you from a distance. I pray for you from my heart. I hang back and clap my hands, bragging on your character and accomplishments. I am not sure how I can be of service to you other than just being here when you call. But I will try, to be of service, the best way I know how.

Thank you for being you. Thank you for being a friend. Thank you for shedding light where I thought there could be none. Thank you for being honest (and gangsta-like). Thank you for sharing your life with me. Thank you for giving your time and space. I love you. Lord knows I do.

~SM

Freestyle Friday: Stop and Smell The Roses

red-butterfly-on-yellow-roses-garry-gay

Every time I go into the grocery store I pass by the flower section, and each time I stop and smell the roses. Only the roses. It is something I have been doing for years…I really don’t know how it started or why. But each time I pass by those gorgeous, delicate pieces of God’s art I stop, smile, and inhale. No thoughts come to mind. No stresses take over the moment. No sounds are heard. No questions to answer. Just a moment in time where the world stops and it is okay. Every time I stop, it is a reminder that God created beautiful. He created gorgeous. He created delicate. He created breath and life and time. And everything He created was for a multitude of purposes, one of which is purely for our enjoyment. So the next time you happen to pass by a flower (doesn’t have to be a rose) make the conscious decision to stop and smell it. Take a moment, breathe it in and enjoy the gift of His art. I know I will 😛

~SM

I Choose Favor

A colleague of mine sent me a text one day and said while she enjoyed the FB posts, she felt as if I was riding too heavily on the “I don’t have” train. She told me I should speak positively and expect all that God is readily presenting me with. The next day, she posted an inspirational word from Joel Osteen about…well…what else? God’s favor. For a week after that I was inundated with the numbers 11, 111, and 1111. When I woke up at 1:11 am I decided I had had enough. What gives?! After some careful research, people who believe in Angel Numbers, feel as though it is (if I may paraphrase terribly here) the Universe taking a snapshot of your thoughts and bringing what you are thinking/wanting to pass–and quickly. It doesn’t take long for me to get it (except in this case…it took me like a whole week). I choose favor.

So how exactly does one choose favor? My guess is that you just do. You wake up with the spirit of expectation and you have the faith to live in it even if nothing comes from it. God is all around us. For those of us who are more enlightened than others (think Tolle and Zuchav), our spirits are already open books. For those of us who are a little less enlightened than others (yea…you can think of me in this case), the world (or devil–whichever you prefer) has a good old time shutting us down and making us cry in the corner of the shower (or is that just me). And while I do believe life is about more than the black and white of things, in this case there is no gray. You either live in His world or you don’t.

For the past few weeks, I think I have been choosing the latter–subconsciously that is. I mean really–who consciously chooses to live in a fog of ‘can’t won’t shouldn’t wouldn’t couldn’t don’t’? I think what happened to me was the waiting out the ready–the transcendence of flesh. We have discussed this before–my mind and my spirit are 10 light years away while my circumstances and flesh are still struggling to catch up. It is hard to believe in positivity, divine expectation and favor when you struggle with something you can feel deep down inside but not touch. Quite honestly, it is hard to believe in much of anything except plain old black and white when you have a quarter of a tank to last you 7 days and $5 in your pocket for the next two weeks. It is harsh to be in a constant fight for your life when you are being attacked and misread and misused by those you thought were suppose to love you.

An old friend of mine told me recently I was a lot stronger than I gave myself credit for. I think about that often. I suppose that is why when the colleague encouraged me and my angels decided to tap on my shoulder at 1:11 am, I chose to fight. I am a fighter, after all. It is what I seem to have done always.

I won’t promise to always be the most positive chica in the bunch nor do I promise to make it to enlightened status.  But what I can definitely say is when things stop working or when I can’t pay rent or when all I can do is imagine the more, I will choose favor and just hand it over to God and let Him work it out. He always does…I should no longer be surprised.

~SM

Today I AM: Retreating

Today I AM retreating. In this day and age it is essential with information coming at us 24/7. I get overwhelmed with the constant updates on other people’s lives and my focus is lost. This balancing act is a tough one when there is no focus. So, today, I am making the conscious decision to put up fences and give myself some breathing room….to purge the outside junk that found its way in. I will focus on silence and meditation. I will focus on what goes in and what goes out. I will be move in silence and absorb nature. I will walk, breath, move, speak, and pray with intention. Today I will reset, refocus, revive.

~SM