Development

“How have you developed emotionally, spiritually, mentally and physically over the last 12 months?” [Grit & Virtue]

One rainy Saturday, Young Gun made me sit down and watch Batman (animation) movies all afternoon. Dishes were in the sink, clothes needed washing, the floor needed vacuuming and we still had to move, but he put his size 13 down and I obliged.

One of my most favorite comic book characters is the Joker. Something about his sarcasm, wit and overall cookooyness (made up word…you’re welcome) resonates and the moments of humanity that peek through (barely) always had me curious about who he was really. And then, on said rainy forced-to-relax-Saturday, I got to see the man behind the (not so funny) jokes.

The Joker used to be a pretty decent guy, according to the story told in the Killing Joke. If memory serves me right, he had a fiance, he was a struggling magician and trying to live life on the up and up. Then he fell into an unfortunate circumstance which led to crime, Batman, and vats of something sinister. The rest is history.

When I think about the question of my development over the last year, I recall the evolution of Mr. J. Everything evolves. It is a large part of existence. Change is bound to happen when the circumstances change. The environment dictates the growth. The environment around us helps to develop who we become.

To think about how I have developed or evolved over the past year is dizzying. Mostly because I really do not know the answer, and searching for it is giving me a headache. What I can say, is that I know I have evolved–it is inevitable. I also know my evolution is not quite as, uh, ruthless as Puddin’, but I do suppose it will be fully revealed over time. When it is revealed, it will be a perfect fit for who I am today.

When the Killing Joke ended it all made sense. Who Mr. J was at the moment was not who he had always been. His development (no matter how twisted) was shaped by his past wins, losses, and run-ins. He was still himself, just a little…different. I do not doubt my development is the same, albeit not as twisted.

~SM

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