Ok, so I get it. What the ‘it’ is I am not quite sure it can be explained, but you know it when you feel it. The moment when just about every recent (or past) experience clicks–that is the beginning of the ‘it’. Everyone’s ‘it’ is different. For some it is about relationships, others it is about employment or even spiritual things. Everyone has a click and everyone has an ‘it’…this morning I just got both.
I was flipping through some messages and photos on (where else) Facebook and then it clicked. The order of events, the things that have been done and said, the journey in which I have been forcefully made to trek is but a snapshot of the bigger picture. I mean sure, we all know this once we reach a certain age or have one too many drinks (or puffs) and we suddenly understand that life is much bigger. But when you see the puzzle pieces beginning to make sense of the picture it you get it. You nod your head in silence, look to the sky and say ‘I get it’.
It is still a little fuzzy and there are some pieces missing, but I am getting it. Most things are only temporary. They seem like they will drag on forever, but they generally only last a short while. Things are moving slowly into place and the fog is lifting just a tad. To be quite honest with you, I have no idea what I am doing 100% of the time. I don’t know what I want, who I want, where I want, why I want, or how I want. I don’t know where to go or what to do or how to say it or why I am anywhere I am. It seems to be a gigantic blur from which I have no means of escape.
All of that probably sounds kind of depressing, but for me it is happiness…peace. The observation as noted above is just the tip of the ‘it’. When one can recognize said things, it moves them into a different part of the journey–the part of Understanding. With understanding comes peace (at least in my book it does) and with peace comes breath. Lord knows I am looking forward to finally catching my breath.