Why Say No When You Can Say Yes?

My girlfriend (we will call her Tobago) called me last night on her way home from work. She hardly ever calls me. We are texters more than phone talkers, so when she called me I knew she wanted something.

Tobago and I met while training for a 10k. It was our first big race and we really didn’t know much about running. What better way to learn about something than with another person who doesn’t know much? At least you won’t look stupid by yourself (smile). We trained together, joined a running crew together, and even daydreamed about more races together. She often comes to me with crazy ass ideas usually pertaining to running and I don’t question saying yes until I am at the starting line. “We just ran 6 miles…we could do a half with no problem. It’s only two 10ks together” “We just ran a half….we can do a marathon with no problem. It’s only two halves together” Yes…those are actual conversations we have had, and on several occasions I have found myself standing at the starting line of a half marathon saying “Who’s dumb idea was this anyway?!” I have fine tuned my spidey senses when it comes to Tobago and her “simple” ideas, but yesterday she snuck me.

Tobago: I’ve got to lose like a hundred pounds by next year

Me: (clearly knowing that she (a) was exaggerating and (b) knew I have been complaining about my weight too I said….) Girl, who you tellin? Me too.

Tobago: We gotta do it. Like, seriously this time I have got to do something and stick with it.

Me: (still foolishly not connecting dots yet…) Ok then. Let’s do this. What are we doing and how are we going to do it? (I’m always down for a challenge…fault numero uno)

Tobago: For real? Ok (uh oh…here it comes) remember that thing I was telling you about, Carnival?

Me: Yea (now completely distracted by burning dinner)

Tobago: I am going next year, but I need to weigh like a hundred pounds to wear the costume (laughing).

Me: (Carnival? Oh yea, I remember her saying something about that…sounded super fun. Oh and costumes too?! I love costumes…I could lose weight too and maybe fit into one of those costumes. I could look like a Vegas show girl and…oh no…Oh God, here it comes…word vomit…) Oooooh! I wanna go!

Trinidad: For real?! (I think she almost squealed) Alright girl! This is going to be so much fun!

I know…it was crazy for me to jump on her crazy wagon, but the truth of the matter is life is to be enjoyed. Honestly, I jump into this crazy crap because I will say yes to anything once. The space in which I am living my life now is open to all possibilities–even Trinidad Carnival with scantily clad beautiful people walking around in the streets.

Saying no is for drugs or sex with sketchy people. It is for people you don’t like or for spoiled children. It is for family members who ask for too much. It is for food/shop-therapy when you are either too fat or too broke. The rest of life is open for discussion and sometimes a big, fat, loud YES! Besides, my passport is empty–who wants to live 10 years of their life with an empty passport? If that’s not depressing I don’t know what else is.

~SM

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